Defining Trauma & Intergenerational Trauma
While we may have fond memories of childhood, for many of us we may have mixed or difficult feelings due to traumatic or adverse experiences. Research tells us that trauma and adverse experiences in childhood are common. The famous ACES Study conducted by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente found that 61% of adults had experienced at least 1 adverse childhood experience by age 18 and that 1 in 6 adults had 4 or more adverse experiences.¹
Trauma can be defined as the lasting emotional response resulting from surviving a distressing event or distressing circumstances.² Our traumatic experiences leave an imprint in our brains and bodies that can impact our sense of self, wellbeing, and safety. Adverse experiences include (but are not limited to) neglect, abuse, parental separation or divorce, & parental mental health issues.
Intergenerational Trauma refers to the impact that trauma has not only on the survivors of those circumstances but on their descendants and future generations. Intergenerational trauma can manifest in our parenting style, our relationship formation, our communication patterns, and can impact our overall well-being in profound ways.³
Historical trauma which includes oppression, systemic racism, genocide, forced migration, family separation, war, & natural disasters, leave lasting intergenerational imprints that impact how we form our identities, interact with and navigate the world and, ultimately, what patterns and survival methods we pass down to our children.²
While those survival methods may have served generations earlier who were impacted directly by historical and/or familial trauma, many of those patterns may no longer serve us in our current generation and circumstances.
How Trauma Impacts our Own Parenting Journey
For better or for worse, our parenting journey is informed by those patterns and survival methods we saw modeled in our childhood. And, those patterns were informed by our parents' parents and so on. In order to break the cycle, it is essential to recognize the patterns that no longer serve us and intentionally engage in healing those parts of ourselves.
The following are some (not all) warning signs that intergenerational trauma might be impacting you and your teen:
Repetitive arguments that don't resolve underlying issues
Lack of open communication or over-communication
Escalating communication patterns (conversations turn into fights quickly)
Avoidance of conflict or conversation
Negative coping skills (such as substance use, self-harm)
Difficulty with regulating emotions
Lack of boundaries between you and your teen
Rigid rules or lack of structure
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If you want to get started on your own therapeutic, healing journey, I invite you to set up a free, 15-minute consultation with me. Click here to get started.
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